Friday, February 8, 2013

UPDATE ON MOM 2/8/13 - "Hospice"

Mom had a set back today.... and the doctor said it was time to start looking at her situation realistically.  She has only had a few small bites of food in the last 12 days.  Her white blood count is going up... again.  Her blood sugar is sky high.  Her pain is only managed with morphine every 4 hours.  She is tired and miserable...... they want to run more tests to figure out why she is still in so much pain.

She overhears our conversation and I see her head start to shake back and forth "No".  I lean down and whisper in her ear... "Mom... do you want them to run the tests?  Do you want to get better?... or do you just want them to make you comfortable?"

Then her soft, pained voice said:

"Please just make me comfortable."

 The doctor just looked at me and said "I think your Mom is making her wishes pretty clear."

I told the doctor that I thought he was right. She didn't want to go through any more tests.  She was tired.  She didn't want to be pricked and prodded and shoved and sticked anymore.  She has asked many times over the course of the last few days to "Please stop bothering me".. and "I just want to go home"... but I wasn't listening.  I wanted her to get well.  I told her, "Mom, you HAVE to try!  You have to get better."   But suddenly it was all clear.  She was doing it for ME, but SHE didn't want to try.  She wants to go home.   

Over the next hour, she heard us discuss our options.  We picked Alive Hospice.  I've always heard great things about them, and I was happy that they had a bed open and were ready and willing to take her.  I told her we were going to move her one more time, but that they would make her comfortable there and she nodded.  And then I noticed her face.  For the first time in two weeks, she didn't have a look of pain on her face.  She looked peaceful.  It was if she was relieved that I finally heard her and was ready to let her go.  

The doctor said today that when you get to the place where Mother is, death isn't scary anymore... it's comforting.  

So, tonight... she's finally resting peacefully in a beautiful suite in Alive Hospice. No more nurses and doctors and therapists bothering her.  No more hospital noises that made her nervous and jumpy.  It's calm and quiet and warm.  She knows people are praying for her and she knows she is loved.   And for the first time in 14 days, she looks.... well.... comfortable.  

Sorry it took so long Mom..... we will do this on your terms now.  I always was a stubborn thing.




15 comments:

  1. I've been there and listened to the doctors instead of my mom. Hindsight is 20-20, but when someone knows that life never ends, they don't fear a mere transition.

    Blessings on your mom and to you in the coming times. I pray peace and joy and celebration.

    Tim

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    1. A "mere transition".... gosh, I love that description!! Thank you Tim! :-)

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  2. I feel for you so much right now ...I know that is alot to go through..my Real Dad had hospice in1999 and it wasnt easy letting yourself come to terms with that fact that there is a transition and I miss him but I know it was good to know he was comfortable and that means everything when in a situation facing something as that ..you are so sweet and my thoughts prayers and love go to you and her during this ~Sonja

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    1. Thank you dear... it was nice meeting you this week! :-)

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  3. Truly my heart and prayers go out to you and your family and your mom. I remember when we had to make that decision for my grandfather and it was a tough one to make, but it didn't take long when we did. I miss my grandfather every day and think of him often. I also realize that soon I will have to make that decision for my own mom. I don't look forward to that day either. But, I know that God will welcome her into the fold as your mother.

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    1. Thank you... Mom DOES love Jesus, so I know it will be a beautiful Homecoming. :-)

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  4. This is a big decision! You are so wise to listen to her. I am so very glad she is at peace. Praying for your entire family as you walk through this very difficult time.

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    1. Thank you Lorrie..... It is hard to be an only child and know that YOU and only YOU can make these decisions, but I believe God is guiding my decisions as I'm in constant prayer about it and I KNOW that I have friends like YOU who are covering us in prayer as well. :-)

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    2. I can't imagine what you are going through. I have 4 siblings...I watched my dad go through this with his mom, my nana, several years ago. They did the same thing. My mom, her daughter in law, flew down from PA, to Florida, and lived with her and took care of her for 6 months in her home, so she could go the way she wanted to go. My dad flew down every weekend, he was still working. It was painful, and beautiful. A journey that "grew" my mom like nothing else. A love story that I watched unfold as a grand daughter.

      I can see this journey has 'grown' you. I can just imagine the gift you are to your mom, because I see the love of Christ shines through you, with each entry you make, each step you are taking with your mom, the LOVE that you are pouring out to her every moment. You are a beautiful daughter of the King. A beautiful daughter to your Mother. A gift to your boys. What they are watching you do with her and for her, all the love you are pouring into her, is life changing for them as well.
      Thank you so much for sharing this journey with all of us. I am in awe.

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  5. I cry as I read this. And I know through tears it was hard for you to write dear precious friend and loving and devoted daughter to your mom!!!

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    1. I'm so glad God sent YOU to me! Thank you for staying by my side, and walking through those difficult moments. It was no accident that you felt prompted to come visit me yesterday. You are a beautiful, beautiful friend... love you Laney!

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  6. Oh Marcia, it's so hard. But there is blessed relief once the decision is made. Hospice is such a God-send. The most precious people. You and your mother and family are in my prayers constantly, Marcia. Thank you so much for keeping us all posted. Love you.
    d

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    1. Thank you Diane... and you are right. Hospice is SUCH a blessing!

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  7. Thinking of you all....xoxo

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