When I opened my morning devotional today, this is what it said:
"Bone-weary" is right. These last 13 days have been exhausting, both physically and emotionally. There were times that I was really struggling with seeing how God could possibly "fit everything into a pattern for good" while I was watching her cry in pain, and moan for relief. I'd never seen anyone so miserable for SO many days in a row while doctor upon doctor tried to figure out how to help her. It was awful, and I prayed for Mercy on her.
A few nights ago, as I sat beside her bed holding her hand and listening to her cry, her eyes suddenly flew open and she said,
"What's taking them so long? Why won't they go ahead and take me where I'm supposed to go?"
She was staring up at the ceiling.
I said, "Who Mom? Who are you talking about?"
And she said, "Them! Why won't they take me where I'm supposed to go??? What is taking them so long???"
I swear, I think she was looking at some angels gathering around her bed, and she was scolding them for not doing their job. Their job of "taking her where she's supposed to go"
My theory? I think they decided to let "bossy" stay here for awhile with us because this afternoon, I felt like I was witnessing a MIRACLE.
She was awake! She was alert! Her eyes were open and bright! And for the first time in DAYS, when I asked her if she was in any pain, she said, "No". Check THAT out!!!!!!!
Of course she was VERY confused. Here was my first conversation with my newly awakened Mom:
"Well, hello Princess, How are you?"
She smiles sweetly and nods, "I'm fine"
"Are you hurting?"
Shakes her head, "No"
Then she says, "Where am I?"
"You're in the hospital"
Her eyes fly open wide and her mouth drops open in shock
"Because you had to have your gall bladder taken out. You were really, really sick Mom."
Shakes her head in disbelief.
"Well, I don't remember that." she softly says.
"You don't remember having surgery? Or being in alot of pain?"
She thinks for a minute then says,
"Well, no, i just don't remember that."
For once, I was thankful that her memory wasn't quite keeping up with things these days. THAT was merciful. And I did pray for Mercy. :-)
My friend Ellen bought a stuffed bear for Mom today so she could have something to hold on to... she's her new best friend. I asked her what she wanted to name her (I've decided it's a girl bear). She hasn't come up with anything yet so I think I'm going to name her "Mercy". Seems appropriate to me.
Unfortunately, in the last couple of hours tonight she seems to have fallen back into a bit of a painful state again, BUT her little episode of comfort and happiness continues to keep me hopeful that she IS getting better and progressing at her pace. Well, her's and God's. They set the pace.
I'm just here to follow along.