Anyway.... Chapter 3 - "What Really Counts"
This chapter deals alot with looking hard at your relationships and responsibilities and how they are changing at this point in our lives. My life used to be centered around raising kids and working (paying the bills). I threw a little "church" in there when I could, but I have to admit, when I look back, I certainly wasn't making it a priority. Serving others? Oh no. Didn't have time for that. I was completely overwhelmed with what I had on my plate. Service work would have to wait until I had more time in my schedule.
Ok.. here I am. More time in my schedule. The kids are mostly grown. I've been so sad the last few months, realizing that my past role as the major person in my kids lives is slowly being downsized. I didn't really know what to do with myself. I was grasping tightly to my youngest child, thinking maybe, just maybe, I could stop this horrible process of inevitable independence from me. But then one day, as I was crying to a good friend of mine about how none of my kids seem to need me anymore, she gently pointed out that I must have done a good job with them, since that's how it's supposed to be. They shouldn't have to cling to "Mama" forever. "Mama" may not be around one day and they need to be secure in making good decisions on their own. Ok, so I know she's right. It doesn't make it any easier, but what I now realize is that it's time for me to make some adjustments in my own life. Find new passions and follow new dreams. The second half of my life is upon me and it's clear I need to make changes.
"God wanted me. It became more and more clear. He didn't want just a piece of me, or just the leftovers. God wanted me to want him more than anything else. And he wanted me to understand that if I lived the second half of life like I had lived the first, I would continue to beat my head against the wall." --pg. 42
Those words jumped off the page when I read them. Yes, changes need to be made. Changes in my schedule. Changes in my direction. Changes in my perspective. So... What will I do?
"God is more concerned about who we are than what we do"
Ok.. so maybe "do-ing" isn't what needs to be my priority. Maybe it's not about "do-ing" at all. Maybe it's about "becoming". Who do I want to become? Ah-HA! Now we are getting somewhere.
"Being ambitious might have been fine when we were younger, but it's not very attractive in women of our age. It's so much more important to be gracious." - pg. 47
So staying busy and "do-ing" all the time was how I felt good about the first half of my life. "I'm so busy" translated to "I'm in such demand from everyone so I must be important" in my head. But in this second half of life, I think slowing down is the key for me. Not slowing down because I'm old and "can't do it all anymore", but because I don't "have to do it all anymore." This is the kind of deliberate "slowing down" that comes from strength, not weakness.
"If I turn up the music of busyness, I will miss the whispers of God's call." - pg. 48
Slowing down and narrowing my focus. Stop being so scattered. Stop trying to please everyone all the time. And start concentrating on what really counts. Amen.
If you are reading along with us via this blog, please feel free to chime in here with any other thoughts you might have about Chapter 3. Learning from and through each other is vital... that's what life is all about!
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