Love first.

Social media is amazing.   It can turn strangers into friends, and even more interesting, sometimes friends into enemies.  I've seen both of those dynamics happen in my little "Facebook world" lately.  

Unfortunately, we can't hear someone's tone in a post, so it's easy to misinterpret someone's comment to be mean-spirited when in fact, it wasn't meant that way at all. I learned this lesson myself one day as I jumped into a volatile conversation on someone else's FB page, something I have since learned is dangerous territory.   I thought I would lovingly and sensitively point out another way of looking at something.  I thought my little post would calm the waters a bit.  BOY WAS I WRONG!  I immediately got attacked by a number of folks that I didn't know, or barely knew.  They totally misinterpreted my words and inflection in my comment.  I left feeling hurt and embarrassed and completely misunderstood.  Right then I decided that from now on, I would stay in my own "living room" (aka my own FB page), or only enter into other people's "living rooms" if I felt invited and not barge my way in, thinking my input was needed, when it was clearly not requested.  LoL

I recently posted a question on my own FB page, asking about people's thoughts on a specific "hot topic".   I like to hear what my friends are thinking about current events.  I love to hear how people are coming up with their views and feelings about important issues and most of the time, even if my friends and I don't agree, we can disagree with much respect and dignity toward one another.  The PROBLEM is when my friends start talking to each other, and maybe they aren't personally acquainted, and they easily misinterpret someone's "tone" in their comment and then BAM!!  All out war begins.  I saw two friends getting "into it" with each other in the comments and one decided to try and end the argument by nicely and sincerely saying, "Ok then, well, have a nice day!" and the other one said, "Hey! Don't try that condescending stuff with me!".. and I was like, 'Hey, hey... I know them and I promise they weren't being condescending!  They were seriously just telling you to have a nice day!"

That reminded me that we have to "love first" in life.  Especially when you are in a disagreement with someone.  It's hard to have an open and honest conversation with someone from behind a computer if you haven't invested in them in a personal way first.   Well, I find it hard to have any kind of important conversation with someone from behind a computer period.  I find it's always best to have those kind of discussions face-to-face, eye-to-eye --- but we live in an age of technology and so sometimes that is what happens.  So I think we need to learn how to do it a little better when those situations occur.

Remember:  we need to invest a little love into someone before they will trust you enough to listen to an opposing view.  

We all need to remember that everyone we meet is dealing with some kind of hurt.  Disappointment, devastation, rejection, insecurity etc... Walking around pointing fingers in each other's faces only adds to the hurt all around us.  I really think if we can stop pushing each other away by adding hurt upon hurt, and start choosing to focus on what we have in common... and love first.... we can probably find it easier to show kindness and compassion even in the areas we don't agree.  

I love what Bob Goff says:  "We have to hold someone close before we can hold them accountable."

Love First.
THEN talk about the hard issues within a circle of grace, mercy and accountability.

Love First.
THEN listen with an open heart.

and most importantly.....

Love First.
THEN make that Facebook comment.  :-)))

Love y'all,
M