Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Drug of Public Productivity....

"There's just something exhilarating about public productivity.  It makes me feel strong, worthy.  It stimulates my adrenaline and feeds my ego." - pg. 29

Achievement Addiction
It's all around me.  And in me.  The addiction to achieving.  We all want to be noticed for achieving something, right?  I used to think it was one of the "pitfalls" of being in the music business.  Everyone SO focused on becoming a success.  Everyone's main goal was to eventually be on some award show accepting the "Vocalist of the Year" or "Song of the Year".... all dressed-up in a fancy gown or tux, crying out "Somebody LIKES ME!" as you clutch the golden statue.  The prize.   Then what?   Are you done?  Oh noooooooo..... the cycle is really just beginning.  One trophy on the mantle was nice, but... wouldn't it be better if there were two on that mantle?

"I have an iron will, and all my will has always been to conquer some horrible feeling of inadequacy....I push past one spell of it and discover myself as a special human being and then I get to another stage and think I'm mediocre and uninteresting.... My drive in life is from this horrible fear of being mediocre.  And that's always pushing me, pushing me.  Because even though I've become Somebody, I still have to prove that I'm Somebody.   My struggle has never ended and it probably never will."  -- Madonna

That quote from Madonna should be proof that fame, nor massive amounts of money, --platinum records, nor thousands of adoring fans, will EVER make you feel worthy enough.

"Success and achievement have become counterfeit gods.  And when we bow down to the god of success, we inevitably find ourselves on the constant treadmill of proving ourselves again and again and again." - pg 31

As I look around, I see that it's not just a pitfall of the music business... it's everywhere.  Achievement Addiction is so much a part of our culture that it's become accepted... almost expected of us.  If you aren't focused on achieving something, if you aren't successful, then what's your worth?  

"Success-based identity is the assumption that what you do determines who you are.  You try to control the opinions and approval of others through your performance, and you let what they think of you affect what you think of you." - pg. 33

"We were never created to find our worth simply in what we do." - pg. 30

I'll never forget a conversation I had several years ago with a dear friend of mine, sitting in her parked car outside my house late one night.   We had just come from meeting other friends at our favorite Italian place to celebrate a wonderful opportunity she had just been offered.  She had been struggling ever since she had moved to Nashville, trying to pursue a career as a singer.  Now, although this new opportunity wasn't a musical opportunity, and it meant she would be moving to Birmingham, it was no doubt a great situation for her and one we all thought would be a perfect "fit" for her.  We were thrilled that after years of seeing her struggle, it looked like things were turning around for her.  As I said good-night and started to get out of the car, I glanced back at her and saw the tears flowing down her face.  "It's ok sweetie!", I said. "Birmingham's not that far away and we will stay in touch and come see you often!"  "No, you don't understand" she softly said. "I can't do it.  I can't go."

I immediately got back in the car, hugged her neck and said, "Tell me what's wrong. Are you scared?  You're gonna be GREAT!  You are perfect for this!".... and I went on and on trying to reassure her that she was making the right choice, when she suddenly interrupted me and said, "No, you're not getting it Marcia.  I can't go because I'll lose me if I go.  I'm a singer.  I've always been a singer.  It's who I am, it's what I do, and I won't know who I am if I'm not in Nashville, being a singer.  It's my identity.  I can't lose that!"

She didn't take that opportunity.  And she has expressed regret about that to me many times since then, because being a "Nashville singer" never panned out for her in the way she had hoped.  She had confused what she did with who she was, and that lead her to make a decision that will probably haunt her forever.

"You are not your giftedness.  God didn't make a singer.  God didn't make an accountant.  God didn't make a preacher.  You are not any more valuable or less valuable to God because of your job title, your tax bracket, or your social status." - pg. 44

"Scripture teaches that you are to root your identity not in what you have accomplished, but in what has been accomplished for you.....letting anything other than Christ define you will grind you down.  You will always be on a treadmill of achievement, always be haunted by the thought that you're not doing enough, always be hungry for the 'fix' of public productivity. " - pg. 44

I wish I had figured this out YEARS ago.... I'm just now really starting to "get it" and believe it.

How 'bout you?   Are you ready to jump off the treadmill?


2 comments:

  1. Good post Marcia! I need to get back to reading the book. I've had you on my mind a lot and miss you. This heat and granddaughters has been a summer challenge! Hope you have a great 4th!! Love you

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  2. Miss you Elaine! Hope you and the granddaughters are all having a wonderful summer!! Love you girl!

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