Mama... One Year Later.

Exactly one year ago, my sweet Mama left her broken body here on earth and her soul flew up into heaven to be with Jesus.    Feb. 2013 was the saddest month of my life.   Deep grief followed for weeks and I wondered if life would ever feel "light" again.    This morning I woke up suddenly in my hotel room outside of Denver, CO, at almost the exact time she left us.  I allowed myself a good cry and then looked back on my blog from last year today.  Here is what I wrote:

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2/12/13

Waves.....

The grief comes in waves.....

Ever since she passed away this morning, it's like I'm riding on enormous waves.

The grief comes from deep inside me, swelling up so strong I feel I can't breathe.  And so I cry and wail to let out the pain.... and then it subsides a bit and I think I'm stronger.

But then, without any warning... I'm curled up in the fetal position again, trying desperately to get the grief to subside.

I know she's in a better place and she's not suffering anymore.  I know I should have peace from that.  And maybe I will tomorrow... but right now... I'm just SOOOO sad.

So many of you have been here before me...  Tell me it gets easier.

Visitation for my sweet Mama is tomorrow, Wed. February 13th at Woodlawn Funeral Home and Memorial Gardens from 12-2pm.

Love you Mom.....

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It's hard to believe a whole year has passed now.  Although I still miss her terribly, and I have moments of tears and sadness.... God has removed my constant sadness and gives me little reminders that she is home with Him and in good hands.  I have had several other friends lose their Mom's lately... so for all you still in the deep grief stage,  I am here to tell you..... It DID get easier.   And I continue to grow stronger, feeling her presence guide me in a new way now.

Mom was too sick to come to any of my shows during the last few years of her life.  But tonight, I'll be performing in Johnstown, CO with one of my favorite artists, with one of my best friends standing by my side.... and I know Mom will have the best seat in the house.   It will be a perfect way to celebrate her "home-going" anniversary.  I'll sing for her.

Love you all.... M